Motivation

“Back to the bar, Sara”

Published: 11 September 2024
Written by Michael Quigley
No comments
Categories: Health and Wellbeing, Leadership, Management, Motivation

Motivation

1 key mental technique to build your mental toughness and ensure your success 

“Back to the bar, Sara!” Being inspired by an Icelandic Crossfit woman

I was watching a Netflix documentary about CrossFit athletes: men and women from all around the world who truly push themselves to the limits of what they can handle. Their mentality and mindset are of an elite level. Having trained in CrossFit for several years, I can tell you that you need a very high level of mental toughness, humility and willingness to succeed, often just to get through each workout!

 This CrossFit athlete, an Icelandic woman called Sara Sigmundsdóttir, was training outside, in punishing heat. She was using a barbell loaded with heavy weights and doing full body movements with them, being pushed by her coach to do sets of them, again and again and again, until she looked like she might pass out from the effort. Her coach shouted at her, “Get back to the bar, Sara!” to encourage her to keep going.  She was sweating, breathing heavily, exhausted. And yet, she kept returning to the barbell, and doing the lifts that she had to do. When she was eventually finished, she took off her weightlifting belt and lay on the ground, utterly spent. 

I was hugely inspired by that, as it reminded me of all of the times that I had made a similar effort, in order to work towards achieving my goals and dreams. And I would like to show you how to do the same.

Lock yourself away in your room

The essential technique towards building your mental toughness and resolve

I would like to share with you one of my top techniques, which I have cultivated for 22 years now, that has helped me every time that I have wanted to achieve a goal and to be successful. It is called locking yourself away in your room. Let me explain where it comes from and how it works.

I was 16 and studying for my GCSEs, my end of high school exams, and I really went for it. I remember it clearly. I wrote out a revision timetable and I stuck to it. I dedicated all of my time, for 3 months, towards my study. Every night I did 2-4 hours of study and more on weekends. I must have done over 300 hours of revision in that period. At the time smartphones weren’t really a thing, so I just turned my basic phone off. I worked in silence. I told my friends I would be unavailable for a time, I made no other plans. I fully dedicated myself to it. And it paid off with very good exam results. But more than that, something had shifted and changed in me.

I realised that I now had a reference point for what I could do, if I needed to. I would lock myself away in my room and put in the work. I repeated the effort that summer when I painted my bedroom on my own. For a week, I put in a similar effort and still, 22 years later, the room looks great! 

I had discovered a useful format for academic study. That it wasn’t enough to go to classes, write essays and read books. I had to, at times, lock myself in my room and put in focused, determined, what I now know to be, deep work. 

I applied the same effort and practice during my A Levels at ages 16-18, and then in my 3 degrees after that. I remember reading Clarissa, the longest fictional book in the English language. It was so long, I had to make myself a timetable and use maths to figure out how long it would take me to read it, down to how many pages I could read per hour! I remember throwing it up in the air and hearing it hit the floor with a satisfying thump, when I finished it. 

You might be thinking, “Well, that’s great for academic study Mike, but that doesn’t really apply to my situation- in my business, in my health and fitness, with my family, etc. 

But it does! The beauty of the technique, is that once you understand how it works, and you have successfully applied it a few times, it can work in a variety of contexts. 

Let me show you how I have applied locking myself away in my room in the contexts of health and fitness and starting and running my own business. 

Mental toughness in martial arts

I studied and practised the martial art of jui jitsu for 11 years in total, beginning whilst at university. And there is one clear moment that stands out in my mind, where I applied locking myself away in my room, to its full effect. 

I was a blue belt, training to achieve my brown belt, which in that particular style, was the first instructor grade. And the step up from blue belt to brown is very tough. I had been training with higher grades for a couple of years at special sessions, but then I got a unique opportunity, which I thought could help. I was invited to a full day course for blue belts and brown belts in Birmingham, in the UK. I knew no one there and it was to be a 6 hour course, a long one. I remember being very nervous. But I also knew, after years of locking myself away in various dojos and practising for hours and hours, that this course could help me to grow. And boy did it!

From the start, it was so intense. I remember being so tired I could barely hold my arms up. I got punched in the face, one person got knocked out. There was weapons training, delivered at an intensity I had never experienced before. But I survived. And in the changing rooms afterwards, I remember feeling very proud of myself. And I actually enjoyed it very much. Then I got the train home. When it came time to take my brown belt exam, I had that experience and several others, to draw from- which helped me to achieve success on that day.

Did I have to go to that course in Birmingham that day? No. But did it help to toughen me up, strengthen my resolve and show me what I could handle? Absolutely. Martial arts, and especially taking exams in them, cannot be flooked or just improvised. You have to lock yourself away in the dojo for hours and hours, in order to be able to perform in the given moment. I am so grateful to Jui Jitsu for showing me this, and giving me the opportunity to refine my mental techniques, as well as my physical ones. 

Mental toughness in business

Running my own business gave me a whole new context to apply the locking yourself away in your room technique. As I realised very quickly, it doesn’t matter how many hours your work, if you ineffective. No one cares. You must dedicate your time to the activities and practices which will actually grow your own abilities, and that of your business, in order to deliver high value and be of useful service to the world. So here’s one way that I do this. 

I read or listen to a book a week. I have done now for 5 years. Is it difficult to make the time to do this? Absolutely. But is it worth it? Definitely. I keep a list of the names of each book per week for each year, along with a sentence of one thing that it has taught me. And this practice alone, has contributed significantly to both the growth of my business and my own personal growth. I am just doing the same thing as I did when I studied for my GCSEs. I am making the time to study, to learn. In order to know more things, to get ahead of where I currently am. And it has worked. I know that every book I will read or listen to, is an investment in my future. It is a virtuous process that always delivers results. The ability to dedicate myself to mentally locking my self away in my room and study- be that with books, going on courses or even seeing things such as network events in the same way- is exponentially valuable. 

It is not enough to work hard, it is not enough to copy other people. And it is certainly not enough to aim to be busy, if you want to be mentally resilient and succeed. We have to be smart about what we focus on, what we study, what we aim to improve, what will improve ourselves, not what someone else is doing. And it never depends on how we feel in that moment, it’s about getting over that and focusing on putting in the work- knowing and trusting, that it is adding up for your future. 

Your version of locking yourself away in your room could look like this:

  • Studying in your home office
  • Doing the admin that you know to be important
  • Putting the work in at your gym
  • Going outside to get your steps in
  • Prepping healthy meals 
  • Going to taking online or in person courses
  • Time improving your skills 
  • Time with your family 
  • Time planning our good goals and dreams 
  • Time feeding your vision- essential for business owners 
  • Doing your taxes properly 
  • Take the time to identify what your version of locking yourself away in your room might be. 

Mat Fraser, who has won 5 CrossFit games titles in 2016-2020 is an incredible person who understands this very well. He said: 

“Today I will do what others won’t. So tomorrow I can do what others can’t.”

This is what locking yourself away in your room as a technique will give you, the ability to do what you cannot do today but you will be able to tomorrow. 

What could you achieve using this technique? Where here are just some results that my clients  and myself have enjoyed as a risky of applying it in our lives so far. 

  • Healthy body 
  • Successful business
  • Fantastic relationships 
  • Provide for your family 
  • Quality of life 
  • Freedom 
  • Achieve your goals 
  • Lives  your dreams 

So now let’s look at how you can apply this technique into your life.

4 ways to build mental toughness for your success

1 Lock yourself away in your room

Find what this means for you in your life. It might  mean physically going into a separate room, on your own, with no distractions. It could be in your office. It could be at the gym. Locking yourself away in your room means you are willing to put the work in for something important, and not see an immediate result today. It means working in silence. It means putting your phone onto airplane mode or turning it off. It means you know that you have to do challenging, often boring things, in order to achieve a future result that you want. It could involve revision, studying, doing paperwork, sending follow up emails, doing budgeting and tax work, making plans and problems solving. 

Take a minute to identify what your version of this looks like:

  • What kind of work do you need to do to get where you want to go?
  • What does your physical practice space look like?
  • How will you know when you have achieve your result? 

For me, I lock myself away in my home office and work in intense bursts of time, in silence. I set times on my phone for 10-20 minutes, and go until the timer goes off. Then I stand up and take a 5 minute break. Then I go again, repeating these cycles for 30 minutes- 2 hours, depending on the activity. You will be amazed how much that you can achieve in such a period of focused, diligent work. 

2 Identify a stretch activity 

This is something that you want to achieve that is far beyond your current abilities and you will need to put in huge efforts to achieve it. For me, it has been the brown belt, after the blue belt, the exam results, the latest blog or book written, the latest new client, etc etc. 

For you it could involve:

  • Improved fitness- stronger, less body fat, improved heart rate, lower blood pressure, etc
  • Improved knowledge and skills 
  • Successfully passing an exam 
  • Being able to play songs on an instrument 
  • A successful event- eg. A birthday party or holiday
  • Buying a house
  • Starting your own business 
  • Overcoming a health condition successfully 

The point of setting a stretch goal, is who you become in the process of working towards it. You might not achieve it, and that’s ok. Along the way you will become: stronger, more resilience, more patient, more determined, mentally tougher, you will improve your skillset and knowledge, and you may have a lot of fun! This has been my experience, and that of my clients, in our reaching for our stretch goals. 

For example, my stretch goal with Kataholos is to help a billion people. And the person I am becoming, the people I am helping and the fun I am having, is making it worth pursuing!

What could your stretch goal be?

3 Revisit your dreams and your goals 

This is crucial. As we have seen, aiming to achieve your stretch goal is incredibly challenging, and being willing to lock yourself away in your room and get back to the bar again and again, every day can be monotonous, and often, boring. So to keep your inspiration and self belief charged up, keep revisiting your dreams and goals, why you are putting in the work, every single day. 

Try this. Have a list and pictures and look at them daily. Try finding photos or pictures online. Print them off and put them in your work space, where you can see them as you do your important work. Or put them into a folder on your phone. I look at mine every day, in the morning, as part of my morning routine. Why should you do this? Because the more meaning and purpose that you can attach to a boring or challenging task, the greater your ability to stay committed to it. It will feed your resilience to come back to it, to get back to the bar, again and again, as many times as is necessary. Revisiting your goals and dreams daily will strengthen your resilience to continue, despite set backs, because  you will see the work as meaningful. 

4 Allow yourself to not be the same as everyone else 

This is crucial to seeing and making real your own version of success. Your version of locking yourself away on your room, may look very different to mine. And that is perfectly ok. And your vision of success may well be very different to many other peoples’, and that is ok too. There are two common reasons why people often give up on the pursuit of their dreams. One is that they don’t know what goals or dreams to strive for, so they often copy someone else, or do what they think is expected of them. And the second, is that they try to follow the methods and practices of others, which don’t work for them. Don’t do this. Take the spirit of what I am giving you here, but make it your own. Try it out, add to it, take out bits, changes bit to make it fit you better. Make it your own. True strength of character, involves staying committed to who you really are and what you really care for. Once you identify that, your mentality can become as deep, strong and robust as the ocean, or a mother’s love.

Final Thoughts

Why you should lock yourself away in your room and get back to the bar 

Your dreams and your goals won’t come and get you. And they won’t achieve themselves. As with anything great in life, it’s all a collaborative partnership, between you and other things: your loved ones, your body and mind, your environment, your resources. Locking yourself away in your room and doing the necessarily work in private will hone your ability and commitment to excellence. You will be doing what needs to be done, to get to where you want to go, and to be who you really want to be.

It will be tough, but that’s ok- so so are you. 

And if you ever doubt yourself and your ability, you think you can’t do it, you are exhausted, just say to yourself: 

“Back to the bar, Sara!”

Love and best wishes,

In Awe Of Our World – 3 Inner Habits To Cultivate Inner Happiness and Fulfilment

Published: 1 May 2020
Written by DeclanWalker
No comments
Categories: Insights, Motivation

Motivation

1 key mental technique to build your mental toughness and ensure your success 

“Back to the bar, Sara!” Being inspired by an Icelandic Crossfit woman

I was watching a Netflix documentary about CrossFit athletes: men and women from all around the world who truly push themselves to the limits of what they can handle. Their mentality and mindset are of an elite level. Having trained in CrossFit for several years, I can tell you that you need a very high level of mental toughness, humility and willingness to succeed, often just to get through each workout!

 This CrossFit athlete, an Icelandic woman called Sara Sigmundsdóttir, was training outside, in punishing heat. She was using a barbell loaded with heavy weights and doing full body movements with them, being pushed by her coach to do sets of them, again and again and again, until she looked like she might pass out from the effort. Her coach shouted at her, “Get back to the bar, Sara!” to encourage her to keep going.  She was sweating, breathing heavily, exhausted. And yet, she kept returning to the barbell, and doing the lifts that she had to do. When she was eventually finished, she took off her weightlifting belt and lay on the ground, utterly spent. 

I was hugely inspired by that, as it reminded me of all of the times that I had made a similar effort, in order to work towards achieving my goals and dreams. And I would like to show you how to do the same.

Lock yourself away in your room

The essential technique towards building your mental toughness and resolve

I would like to share with you one of my top techniques, which I have cultivated for 22 years now, that has helped me every time that I have wanted to achieve a goal and to be successful. It is called locking yourself away in your room. Let me explain where it comes from and how it works.

I was 16 and studying for my GCSEs, my end of high school exams, and I really went for it. I remember it clearly. I wrote out a revision timetable and I stuck to it. I dedicated all of my time, for 3 months, towards my study. Every night I did 2-4 hours of study and more on weekends. I must have done over 300 hours of revision in that period. At the time smartphones weren’t really a thing, so I just turned my basic phone off. I worked in silence. I told my friends I would be unavailable for a time, I made no other plans. I fully dedicated myself to it. And it paid off with very good exam results. But more than that, something had shifted and changed in me.

I realised that I now had a reference point for what I could do, if I needed to. I would lock myself away in my room and put in the work. I repeated the effort that summer when I painted my bedroom on my own. For a week, I put in a similar effort and still, 22 years later, the room looks great! 

I had discovered a useful format for academic study. That it wasn’t enough to go to classes, write essays and read books. I had to, at times, lock myself in my room and put in focused, determined, what I now know to be, deep work. 

I applied the same effort and practice during my A Levels at ages 16-18, and then in my 3 degrees after that. I remember reading Clarissa, the longest fictional book in the English language. It was so long, I had to make myself a timetable and use maths to figure out how long it would take me to read it, down to how many pages I could read per hour! I remember throwing it up in the air and hearing it hit the floor with a satisfying thump, when I finished it. 

You might be thinking, “Well, that’s great for academic study Mike, but that doesn’t really apply to my situation- in my business, in my health and fitness, with my family, etc. 

But it does! The beauty of the technique, is that once you understand how it works, and you have successfully applied it a few times, it can work in a variety of contexts. 

Let me show you how I have applied locking myself away in my room in the contexts of health and fitness and starting and running my own business. 

Mental toughness in martial arts

I studied and practised the martial art of jui jitsu for 11 years in total, beginning whilst at university. And there is one clear moment that stands out in my mind, where I applied locking myself away in my room, to its full effect. 

I was a blue belt, training to achieve my brown belt, which in that particular style, was the first instructor grade. And the step up from blue belt to brown is very tough. I had been training with higher grades for a couple of years at special sessions, but then I got a unique opportunity, which I thought could help. I was invited to a full day course for blue belts and brown belts in Birmingham, in the UK. I knew no one there and it was to be a 6 hour course, a long one. I remember being very nervous. But I also knew, after years of locking myself away in various dojos and practising for hours and hours, that this course could help me to grow. And boy did it!

From the start, it was so intense. I remember being so tired I could barely hold my arms up. I got punched in the face, one person got knocked out. There was weapons training, delivered at an intensity I had never experienced before. But I survived. And in the changing rooms afterwards, I remember feeling very proud of myself. And I actually enjoyed it very much. Then I got the train home. When it came time to take my brown belt exam, I had that experience and several others, to draw from- which helped me to achieve success on that day.

Did I have to go to that course in Birmingham that day? No. But did it help to toughen me up, strengthen my resolve and show me what I could handle? Absolutely. Martial arts, and especially taking exams in them, cannot be flooked or just improvised. You have to lock yourself away in the dojo for hours and hours, in order to be able to perform in the given moment. I am so grateful to Jui Jitsu for showing me this, and giving me the opportunity to refine my mental techniques, as well as my physical ones. 

Mental toughness in business

Running my own business gave me a whole new context to apply the locking yourself away in your room technique. As I realised very quickly, it doesn’t matter how many hours your work, if you ineffective. No one cares. You must dedicate your time to the activities and practices which will actually grow your own abilities, and that of your business, in order to deliver high value and be of useful service to the world. So here’s one way that I do this. 

I read or listen to a book a week. I have done now for 5 years. Is it difficult to make the time to do this? Absolutely. But is it worth it? Definitely. I keep a list of the names of each book per week for each year, along with a sentence of one thing that it has taught me. And this practice alone, has contributed significantly to both the growth of my business and my own personal growth. I am just doing the same thing as I did when I studied for my GCSEs. I am making the time to study, to learn. In order to know more things, to get ahead of where I currently am. And it has worked. I know that every book I will read or listen to, is an investment in my future. It is a virtuous process that always delivers results. The ability to dedicate myself to mentally locking my self away in my room and study- be that with books, going on courses or even seeing things such as network events in the same way- is exponentially valuable. 

It is not enough to work hard, it is not enough to copy other people. And it is certainly not enough to aim to be busy, if you want to be mentally resilient and succeed. We have to be smart about what we focus on, what we study, what we aim to improve, what will improve ourselves, not what someone else is doing. And it never depends on how we feel in that moment, it’s about getting over that and focusing on putting in the work- knowing and trusting, that it is adding up for your future. 

Your version of locking yourself away in your room could look like this:

  • Studying in your home office
  • Doing the admin that you know to be important
  • Putting the work in at your gym
  • Going outside to get your steps in
  • Prepping healthy meals 
  • Going to taking online or in person courses
  • Time improving your skills 
  • Time with your family 
  • Time planning our good goals and dreams 
  • Time feeding your vision- essential for business owners 
  • Doing your taxes properly 
  • Take the time to identify what your version of locking yourself away in your room might be. 

Mat Fraser, who has won 5 CrossFit games titles in 2016-2020 is an incredible person who understands this very well. He said: 

“Today I will do what others won’t. So tomorrow I can do what others can’t.”

This is what locking yourself away in your room as a technique will give you, the ability to do what you cannot do today but you will be able to tomorrow. 

What could you achieve using this technique? Where here are just some results that my clients  and myself have enjoyed as a risky of applying it in our lives so far. 

  • Healthy body 
  • Successful business
  • Fantastic relationships 
  • Provide for your family 
  • Quality of life 
  • Freedom 
  • Achieve your goals 
  • Lives  your dreams 

So now let’s look at how you can apply this technique into your life.

4 ways to build mental toughness for your success

1 Lock yourself away in your room

Find what this means for you in your life. It might  mean physically going into a separate room, on your own, with no distractions. It could be in your office. It could be at the gym. Locking yourself away in your room means you are willing to put the work in for something important, and not see an immediate result today. It means working in silence. It means putting your phone onto airplane mode or turning it off. It means you know that you have to do challenging, often boring things, in order to achieve a future result that you want. It could involve revision, studying, doing paperwork, sending follow up emails, doing budgeting and tax work, making plans and problems solving. 

Take a minute to identify what your version of this looks like:

  • What kind of work do you need to do to get where you want to go?
  • What does your physical practice space look like?
  • How will you know when you have achieve your result? 

For me, I lock myself away in my home office and work in intense bursts of time, in silence. I set times on my phone for 10-20 minutes, and go until the timer goes off. Then I stand up and take a 5 minute break. Then I go again, repeating these cycles for 30 minutes- 2 hours, depending on the activity. You will be amazed how much that you can achieve in such a period of focused, diligent work. 

2 Identify a stretch activity 

This is something that you want to achieve that is far beyond your current abilities and you will need to put in huge efforts to achieve it. For me, it has been the brown belt, after the blue belt, the exam results, the latest blog or book written, the latest new client, etc etc. 

For you it could involve:

  • Improved fitness- stronger, less body fat, improved heart rate, lower blood pressure, etc
  • Improved knowledge and skills 
  • Successfully passing an exam 
  • Being able to play songs on an instrument 
  • A successful event- eg. A birthday party or holiday
  • Buying a house
  • Starting your own business 
  • Overcoming a health condition successfully 

The point of setting a stretch goal, is who you become in the process of working towards it. You might not achieve it, and that’s ok. Along the way you will become: stronger, more resilience, more patient, more determined, mentally tougher, you will improve your skillset and knowledge, and you may have a lot of fun! This has been my experience, and that of my clients, in our reaching for our stretch goals. 

For example, my stretch goal with Kataholos is to help a billion people. And the person I am becoming, the people I am helping and the fun I am having, is making it worth pursuing!

What could your stretch goal be?

3 Revisit your dreams and your goals 

This is crucial. As we have seen, aiming to achieve your stretch goal is incredibly challenging, and being willing to lock yourself away in your room and get back to the bar again and again, every day can be monotonous, and often, boring. So to keep your inspiration and self belief charged up, keep revisiting your dreams and goals, why you are putting in the work, every single day. 

Try this. Have a list and pictures and look at them daily. Try finding photos or pictures online. Print them off and put them in your work space, where you can see them as you do your important work. Or put them into a folder on your phone. I look at mine every day, in the morning, as part of my morning routine. Why should you do this? Because the more meaning and purpose that you can attach to a boring or challenging task, the greater your ability to stay committed to it. It will feed your resilience to come back to it, to get back to the bar, again and again, as many times as is necessary. Revisiting your goals and dreams daily will strengthen your resilience to continue, despite set backs, because  you will see the work as meaningful. 

4 Allow yourself to not be the same as everyone else 

This is crucial to seeing and making real your own version of success. Your version of locking yourself away on your room, may look very different to mine. And that is perfectly ok. And your vision of success may well be very different to many other peoples’, and that is ok too. There are two common reasons why people often give up on the pursuit of their dreams. One is that they don’t know what goals or dreams to strive for, so they often copy someone else, or do what they think is expected of them. And the second, is that they try to follow the methods and practices of others, which don’t work for them. Don’t do this. Take the spirit of what I am giving you here, but make it your own. Try it out, add to it, take out bits, changes bit to make it fit you better. Make it your own. True strength of character, involves staying committed to who you really are and what you really care for. Once you identify that, your mentality can become as deep, strong and robust as the ocean, or a mother’s love.

Final Thoughts

Why you should lock yourself away in your room and get back to the bar 

Your dreams and your goals won’t come and get you. And they won’t achieve themselves. As with anything great in life, it’s all a collaborative partnership, between you and other things: your loved ones, your body and mind, your environment, your resources. Locking yourself away in your room and doing the necessarily work in private will hone your ability and commitment to excellence. You will be doing what needs to be done, to get to where you want to go, and to be who you really want to be.

It will be tough, but that’s ok- so so are you. 

And if you ever doubt yourself and your ability, you think you can’t do it, you are exhausted, just say to yourself: 

“Back to the bar, Sara!”

Love and best wishes,

 

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Would you like someone to really be there for you and your business?

Are you looking to:

  • Develop your leaders?
  • Develop your team?
  • Develop yourself?

I would love to help you and your people to fulfil your potential and achieve the results that you deserve – and if you’re a lifelong learner, you’re a perfect fit for us!

Would you like to find out how Michael and Kataholos can help develop your leaders, your teams and you?